Memories, Memories...

I have been a retard wrangler for over 5 years. Since I have some time today, and Id like have something for people to read, I may as well go over some of my most memorable experiences with some of the people I have worked with:

-Sydney was an older overweight African American woman with paranoia schizophrenia and was one of my first cases. She could be so sweet unless she forgot her medication. If she forgot, or uh..refused, hilarity would ensue. She had this wild yellow-eyed expression that only meant trouble and it a tell-tell sign when a schizoid is going off the deep end. She always had the habit of calling everyone girlfriend too, probably because it was hard for her to remember peoples names. She was given to me as a full time coaching assignment because of this exchange:
(C.E.O. talking to co-worker in lunchroom full of people)
(Sydney walks over to them) "You guys better stop talking about me!"
C.E.O. - "We're not talking about you Sydney"
Sydney- "Yes you are!" (points at C.E.O and screams loudly) "You want to fuck me!"

It was then my job to babysit her and to make sure that she didn't embarrass anyone else. At one point during my coaching (and when she was in one of her bad moods) she took her false teeth out during break and started to clean them with her shirt. She then proceeded to tell me that a Ni**er (her words not mine) knocked her teeth out.

By the end of her program she want not able to work independently, but we did end up with some sort of friendship. She even learned my name. She still calls rarely (and I can understand her as long as she has her teeth in), and from time to time I will get a letter or a card for Easter and Christmas. With her poor spelling ability, she always signs it:

Your Fiend,
Sydney

Your fiend indeed, girlfriend.

Sometimes mothers are worse than their clients

One of clients mothers called my boss to say I was harassing her son.

And by harassing she means asking her son for a written excuse when he was absent.

Back story: This program that his is in is suppose to emulate a 90-probationary work period. Mother keeps calling in to call off her son. She is VERY protective of him and she is told that her son is the client and she is to not call off for him anymore (a big no-no) One day she calls stating that his grandfather died. I asked that Her son call off herself as asked before, and she goes into this big tirade about how its been really hard on them, so I let it slide but I ask that he bring in something from the funeral (which was next week) to cover the claims.Well it turned out that the mother LIED ABOUT HER OWN FATHER BEING DEAD, so her son could have a day off of work. And because I'm the one asking for an excuse (cause I knew it was a lie even if I didn't want to believe that is was) I'm harassing the son.She left a message on my voicemail stating angerly, "I think I lied about David's grandfather being dead, the truth is we were just going some personal problems, and I just want you to drop it OK? Just drop it."

Like I'm going to drop the fact that you lied about your father dying.

My boss stuck up for me though.

Oh, and today's my birthday. And its my first post. Ill flesh this thing out soon enough.